💜 The Hardest Goodbye Isn't to Them...

Hello Beauties,

As a therapist, I've noticed something that shows up again and again in the healing journeys of the women I work with.

Many women aren't grieving the relationship they had.

They're grieving the relationship they deserved.

The nurturing mother who couldn't nurture. ( I still grieve her by the way... and that is ok) 

The protective father who couldn't protect. (for those that had parents that passed away before they could be a part of your life) 

The partner they kept hoping would become emotionally available. (and yet they still never were) 

The family they wished could finally understand them. (making you feel crazy) 

And that's what makes healing so complicated.

Because we're not only letting go of a person.

We're letting go of a dream. (ugh that is just sooo hard) 

We're letting go of the hope that one day things will be different.

The truth is.... that hope often helped us survive. (isn't that just something.) 

It gave us comfort.
It gave us meaning.
It helped us keep going. (for real it just did help when in fact in the end it wasn't) 

But eventually, healing asks us to face a difficult question:

What if they never become who I needed them to be? (FYI: that's a hard ask to ask) 

That question inspired my newest song, Illusion.

The song is about grieving what should have been, honoring the hope that once protected us, and finding peace in the reality of what is.

One of the most healing lessons I've learned is this:

You can hold two truths at the same time.

💜 I wish it had been different.

AND

💜 I accept what is.

Acceptance is not approval. ( never, you don't have to approve) 

It doesn't mean what happened was okay. (because I know... it wasn't)

It simply means we stop fighting reality and begin creating a life that no longer depends on someone else's change.

This week, I invite you to reflect on one question:

✨ What illusion am I still holding onto?

And if you're ready, write down these two statements:

"I wish..."

"I accept..."

Notice what comes up.

There may be grief.

There may be relief.

There may be freedom waiting on the other side.

Thank you for allowing me to be part of your healing journey.

With love,

Anita Sandoval, LPC
Founder, EmpowerHer Pathways

Empowered • Resilient • Authentic

P.S. My new song, Illusion, was inspired by this exact healing process. I hope it reminds you that letting go of the fantasy isn't giving up—it's making room for peace.